it's strange but i feel like i'm busier than ever now, much more so than when i was working. driving lessons, dance, and gatherings with friends pretty much take up most of my time. such that i've never even had a day since coming home from chicago where i've had nothing to do. i must say life's been good. quality bumming around. haha. heading up to hongkong for a couple of days on friday. i'm rather excited. i wanna do more shopping ! :D

had lunch with jan at nyp after my driving yesterday. crashed their psychology lecture too ! haha it was pretty fun. and it made me strongly realise that my mindset has changed. a few months back i was really dreading going back to school. but yesterday at nyp i got such a strong sense of how much i miss it and how badly i wanna go back to school as soon as possible. i mean, i don't really miss studying, but i really miss the social aspect of school life. seeing your friends every day and having fun. actually, due to yesterday's visit, i'm more eager to go back to school than ever.

so yes i gave up my chance to study in the states although i had the letters and documents right under my nose and was THIS close to accepting the school. i know many people are going to criticise me for it, and tell me what a stupid ass i am, but honestly i felt like i made the right decision. i'm happy with it and i feel like that's all that matters. maybe people will say one day soon i'm going to beat myself up with regret. but i'm not going to put myself in the position where i'll spend all my time thinking about what could have been. right now i'm just gonna look ahead and make the most of my decision.

last week was pretty busy too. with vic's 19th birthday, ntu admissions interview, smu high tea session, dance and gathering with cel wei jt and gab over the weekend.

i don't wanna think so much about things anymore. the bottom line is i've made my decision and i plan to stand by it. from now on, there's only looking ahead. no turning back or second glancing.