i suddenly feel that i've lost all faith in trust and friendships. atticus finch in 'to kill a mocking bird' argues that human beings are all predominantly good, but just experience certain states of mind where they lose control of their actions and don't know or understand what they're doing. on the other hand, william golding, who wrote 'lord of the flies', states that people are predominantly evil, but are only pressured into acting morally by society and its restrictions. today i find myself inevitably leaning towards the latter. even with regard to myself. someone recently told me that if you depend on friends, they'll never fail to disappoint you. everyone's innately selfish i suppose. they always think of themselves first. and if it comes to a question between someone else's happiness and their own, they'd be more than willing to pass up all notions of friendship. i don't get why things always have to get so spiteful and complicated, why can't they just see it as an opportunity for everyone to have fun together. okay i'm tired. i don't care that this is ending abruptly.